Poetry

Giving Away

As you left, I listened to each footstep
that echoed off the walls, that muttered of your departing.
I listened as the stairs creaked and groaned
as they called you to stay,

and to the door that shuddered at your sudden absence.
I stood for a moment and listened
to the tap, tap,
tapping rain.

Then—feeling a sudden urge—
I ran to the upstairs window
in hopes of catching one more glimpse of you,
as if to see you off with some silent

and solemn salutation. But you had vanished.
I only saw the
persistent drops
building puddles on the smooth rocks.

The air wrapped me in melancholy
as I stared off into the mute, wet sky—as every
dreary, drowsy drop
stirred the sprouting buds of the birch tree

beyond the columns of the balcony.
Some spirits whispered something
of you to the old tree that the young leaves were
giving away.

83 thoughts on “Giving Away”

  1. turbamento says:

    Reblogged this on turbamento and commented:
    My first reblog. It should be here.

    Collection “shouldbe”.

  2. Reader says:

    This piece has captivated me. The structure mirrors the melancholic loss the speaker describes as the words/lines pull away from their “proper justified-left” origin. I hope that makes sense. Either way, bravo!

    1. John Foster says:

      It absolutely makes sense, I’m glad you saw that. Thanks for the excellent feedback!

    1. John Foster says:

      Thanks so much for reading and commenting.

  3. kenishaliyanage says:

    This is great piece of work. You have done a great job. It’s the first time I read a poem in this format.

    1. John Foster says:

      Thank you very much. I borrowed the format from other poems I have read recently, particularly by Mary Oliver.

    1. John Foster says:

      Thank you and thanks for stopping by

  4. Nadun Lokuliyanage says:

    I could almost hear the ‘the tap, tap,tapping rain’, see the ‘every dreary, drowsy drop, and feel that heartwrenching melancholy. great piece of writing!

    1. John Foster says:

      I’m glad the words painted a vivid picture for you. Thank you for reading and for your comment.

    1. John Foster says:

      Many, many thanks for sharing this. I’m glad you enjoyed it.

  5. Anjali says:

    This blew me away John – simply beautiful! Thank you so much for visiting my blog and helping me discover your wonderful writing! Best wishes.

    1. John Foster says:

      Thank you very much for stopping by to comment, I’m glad the poem had an impact. Best wishes to you as well.

  6. krysiakorsak says:

    Stunningly atmospheric…it reads like music with sensitive imagery appearing before my eyes. This is very special. Thank you. Thanks also for dropping in on my tentative beginnings… I very much appreciate your time and connection. I look forward to reading much more of yours.

    1. John Foster says:

      Thank you very much for your rich comments. Likewise, I look forward to seeing more of your work as well.

  7. Calliope says:

    I have to go with WOW, too–and an extra wow.

    1. John Foster says:

      Thanks very much, I’m glad you enjoyed the poem.

  8. mincs1 says:

    Crazy good! I like the beautiful words and images. I like the format you used to present the work on the page. Kudos all around :)

  9. abubhaji says:

    I tip my hat you you, John, for leaving an impression on me and all that read you. Well done, dude! Cheers ~

    1. John Foster says:

      It’s a great compliment to read the poem left an impression. Thank you.

  10. Kayo says:

    Loving the beauty of this poem on the page.

    1. John Foster says:

      Thank you – I appreciate your feedback!

  11. Alan McDonald says:

    Well executed. One could feel the walk away, like the rain passing in the right time. Very well penned.

    1. John Foster says:

      Thanks for your creative and encouraging comment!

  12. C.C. says:

    This is so beautifully written….there is such a lyrical quality to it, and it functions well to evoke emotion in the reader. The, “tap, tap, tapping rain” takes the reader there in a tangible physical sense. Later, your use of alliteration, “dreary, drowsy drop stirred the sprouting buds of the birch tree” somehow evokes a deeper emotional pull within the reader that really reinforces a connection to your story. The whole thing is lovely and so very well written. Great job, John :-)

    1. John Foster says:

      Thanks for contributing such wonderfully in-depth feedback on this poem. I very much appreciate your remarks and am humbled by them. Most of all I am glad you were able to connect with the poem.

  13. Lady Lazarus says:

    This is beautiful! The emotions come through clearly, but what I love most is your use of rhyme; both your slant rhyme and strong rhyme serve the rhythm of the poem and never feel forced. It’s fluid, like the dreary, drowsy drops you discuss.

    Also, unrelated, but I didn’t realize how alliterative my speech is on even a general level. Weird.

    1. John Foster says:

      Such great feedback! Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I typically spend a lot of time editing in order to get the right “flow” or rhythm. I’m so glad it came across.

    1. John Foster says:

      That’s very nice of you–thank you very much.

      1. stardustpoet64 says:

        You are welcome John. You are a gifted writer. I enjoy reading you. Thank you for sharing.

  14. OldenGray says:

    Truly a wonderful read. Very well penned.

  15. inkmode says:

    this is really good.. :)

    1. John Foster says:

      Thanks for sharing–I’m so glad you enjoyed it.

  16. jeffreydaglaris says:

    Great mood set by your description of the rain and puddles. Very fluid. I like the tree metaphor.

    1. John Foster says:

      I’m very glad you enjoyed it. Thank you for your feedback.

  17. Erica Herd says:

    The poem has a kind of Gothic feel to it, calls to mind “Jane Eyre” and other romantic classics. Moving.

    1. John Foster says:

      That’s an interesting take on the poem. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I appreciate your comment.

  18. deuxiemepeau says:

    Beautiful, it’s everything I wanted to say but couldn’t find the words- now I realize it was because you had them- thank you

    1. John Foster says:

      Thank you sir for such kind words. I’m glad you can relate to the poem.

  19. dara40 says:

    I echo someone else’s words. Wow. True poetry.

    1. John Foster says:

      I greatly appreciate your comment. Thank you for reading and sharing such kind words.

  20. kukupassion says:

    beautiful and engaging right to the end

  21. Shreya Khandelwal says:

    Lovely! Emotions transformed into heart touching words!

  22. franceskakugawa says:

    and your words wrapped me in melancholy, too, in the most poetic way…and I’m left with the tap tap taping raindrops…thank you.

    1. John Foster says:

      I’m humbled by your comment, thank you so much for sharing your thoughts.

      1. franceskakugawa says:

        it was so moving, i couldn’t use a capital letter

  23. Elle says:

    lovely lament. those last to stanzas were phenomenal.

    1. John Foster says:

      Thank you for reading and commenting. Great to see you back here. I appreciate your support.

      1. Elle says:

        I adore the style and sophistication of your site, not to mention the exquisite words you pen. Yours is one I especially look for in my reader. Cheers.

        1. John Foster says:

          Well I’m very glad you have enjoyed my recent work. I look forward to reading more of yours also!

  24. Kunal Thakore says:

    …as usual, beautifully put!

    As young leaves fall away or are plucked, there are always a few more sprouting at the nodes. I try and look for that speck of green mostimes!

    1. John Foster says:

      Absolutely. Thanks for your comment!

      1. Kunal Thakore says:

        I know you’re an occasional visiotr to my page, John, but I’d love to hear from you on the more recent ones and more often! :)

        1. John Foster says:

          I will definitely visit more of your work in the coming days and give you some feedback! Thanks for stopping by.

  25. Ramon Loyola says:

    wow, is all i can say. brilliant writing and perspective. and thanks for liking my posts, too.

    1. John Foster says:

      That’s a very great compliment, thank you very much. I’m glad you enjoyed it.

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